You Are Still Enough • ep. 095

Four tween or teen girls wearing colorful tops stand with their arms around each other smiling in the sunlight because they know they are still enough.

Episode 001: 100,000+ Times

Nearly three and a half years ago, I launched this podcast. And the very first message I shared with you was You Are Enough. That podcast episode, number 001, is by far the most listened to out of all of them. That episode just reached an incredible milestone, thanks to you girls. More than 100,000 times, a girl has heard that message, You Are Enough. And that’s amazing.

I’ve had a lot of feedback on that episode. Just six months ago Spotify launched a feature where you can comment after listening to a podcast episode. Based on the hundreds of responses I’ve received on that one episode alone, I can tell that girls really need to hear this message especially. So I’m excited to tell you, I’m now speaking to youth groups and at middle and high schools to keep spreading this message: You Are Enough.

“You Are Not Enough” Messages

For today’s episode, rather than reair number 001, I’m going to expand on that message. Because hearing You Are Enough is powerful, but you need to keep reminding yourself that, so you’ll believe it more often than you don’t. The reality is, one minute we may feel on top of the world, unaffected by negative messages coming at us, and the next minute, someone says or does something that knocks us down flat. That’s when it’s a lot harder to keep believing You Are Still Enough. 

In episode 001 we talked about negative self talk that makes you think “I am not enough.” Those messages come from the inside. You also get plenty of negative messages from external sources that in essence say “You are not  (fill in the blank)  enough.”

When you play a game with your sibling, and after you win they call you the WORST sister ever. OOH

When your parents complain, “Why can’t you be more responsible like your brother?” OUCH

When a kid at lunch makes a rude comment about your body. WHOA

When a group of girls stare at you in the hallway, whisper to each other, then laugh together. YEESH

When your coach yells at you and takes you out of the game. OOF

When your crush ghosts you after you say you like them. AWW

When an influencer says you have to have certain products to be trendy … otherwise … HMM

When someone, either to your face, behind your back, or online says you are basic, dumb, ugly, fat, gross, or any other harsh insult saying you are not enough … *deep breath*

Negative Messages Hurt

Recent YPulse and Être surveys showed that during the tween and teen years, girls’ confidence tanks 20-30 percent. Which makes sense, given the barrage of negative messages you face on a daily basis. People’s judgements push you around like a pinball getting knocked all over the place, your insecurities are constantly taking hits from others, making you believe you are not enough. The way people treat you, the words they throw at you hurt on the inside, giving you more wounds and injuries and scars that don’t have time to heal before the next wave of painful negative messages comes. 

How You Can Respond

It’s not right. And I don’t believe you have to just accept that as “how life is for girls.” You deserve so much more, so much better. There is no easy solution or quick fix, because we can’t control people or change societal norms, but we CAN change how we respond to them, that’s within our control. I have three quotes, almost affirmations, to help you change how you respond to negative messages that say you are not enough.

First, from Taylor Swift:

“You are not the opinion of someone who doesn’t know you or care about you.”

It’s common for girls to have a reflected sense of self, which is seeing yourself the way others see you. But like Taylor said, if someone doesn’t really know or actually care about you, why should they get to define you? What they think about you doesn’t matter; what does matter is what you think about yourself. And if you don’t feel so great about yourself right now, talk to someone who DOES know you and DOES care about you. Tell them you need some moral support, and ask them what qualities and strengths they see in you. Let that person’s opinion about you give you a boost to strengthen your own opinion about yourself–yours matters more than anybody else’s.

Next, from former First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt:

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

What she means is you get to decide whether or not you’ll allow someone to affect you. You can choose to not let others weigh you down. And even if what they said or did stings at first, you don’t have to keep holding on to that pain, carrying it around with you. You can decide to let it go. While you can’t control others’ actions, you CAN control how you respond. YOU have that power, not them.

And finally, a quote I adapted:

Your value does not decrease when someone refuses to recognize your worth.”

Every one of you girls has inherent value–it’s already there. Yet so many negative messages say you have to change yourself to earn your value, to prove your worth. But they’re wrong. Whether or not they recognize your worth, your value doesn’t change. You Are Still Enough–always have been, always will be.

Believe You Are Still Enough

So let’s start there–it’s not about a finish line or end result, because we may not reach a point in our lives where negative messages don’t hurt even just a little, and that’s okay. The goal is to continually keep reminding yourself that You Are Still Enough. As you do, your belief in that truth will get stronger. Just like strengthening a muscle or developing a skill, growing a strong sense of self takes continual practice–and practice makes progress. Over time you’ll learn to remain more steady and withstand negative messages, and you’ll grow more strength to pick yourself back up again when you do get knocked down, always reminding yourself that You Are Still Enough. Because you are. Say it outloud. I AM STILL ENOUGH.

You Are Still Enough Poster Printable

I created a “You Are Still Enough” poster for you to print out, personalize, and post on your wall where you’ll see it, remember it, practice it, and believe it — that’s the important part.

You Are Still Enough Poster Printable


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