Back to School

We just started another school year here in Las Vegas–maybe you did too. Regardless of when you listen to this episode, I want to offer my best advice for the 2024-25 school year. I’ve done this for the past two years.

The 2022-23 school year was episode 39. The advice I shared was:
• People are icebergs, everyone has more going on under the surface 
• Because of that, be kind
• Speak up and assert yourself

The 2023-24 school year was episode 72. The advice I shared was:
• Allow yourself to fail
• Make time every day to disconnect from tech
• Remember your worth

If you haven’t heard those episodes yet or need a refresher, I highly recommend checking them out.

Own It

So my best advice for the 2024-25 school year all stems off these two words: Own It. This was inspired by my dear friends and fellow girl empowerers, Jill and Mary at Girls Mentorship. I was able to tag along for a week of their Pursue More Summer Camps in Arizona–which were truly transformative BTW. One of the days we focused on Ownership, which is being accountable for your responsibilities, your choices, and your behavior. Let’s explore Own It together.

Own It: Your Responsibilities

Think about the responsibilities you have: chores, schoolwork, babysitting siblings, taking care of a pet, etc. Whether you volunteered for these responsibilities or were assigned to do them, it’s up to you to manage them. So schoolwork for example, your teachers don’t give your homework to your parents, right? Your homework is YOURS to remember to do, to follow directions, to complete, and to turn in on time so YOU can get credit for it. Taking ownership of your responsibilities helps you become more responsible and independent, which leads to having more autonomy over your life. And if you need help keeping track of your responsibilities, that’s totally fine! You can use a student planner to map out your schedule, homework, and due dates. You can set reminders or alarms on your phone. You can use sticky notes on your mirror–whatever method works for you. How about your physical and mental health–those are your responsibility, too. Establishing routines for your skincare, hair care, dental care, body care, self care, physical activity, nutrition and sleep can help you stay consistent. Taking care of yourself is important, not only for your day to day health but also to develop healthy habits that pay off long-term. As you take ownership of these responsibilities, you’ll notice the difference that it makes when you take good care of yourself.

Own It: Your Choices

As you’ve gotten older, you’ve also developed more agency, or ability to make your own choices. Sometimes our choices result in positive consequences–getting to your classes on time could earn you something awesome like Student of the Month, or at the very least could help you avoid detention (sometimes the positive consequence is NOT getting a negative consequence). However, there are times your choices could result in negative consequences. If you stay up late chatting on the phone with your friends instead of finishing a study guide, the negative consequences are you’re tired the next day from not getting enough sleep, your study guide is incomplete so you get a low score on it, and you also bomb the quiz that the study guide would’ve helped you with. Your parents may also ground you from your phone or your friends until you get your grade back up. Wow, that escalated quickly, all because you chose to talk to your friends instead of doing your homework. Sometimes we make excuses for why we made a choice, or we blame other people for our actions. For example, “My friends needed my help with the study guide, but they kept talking and getting distracted.” That’s not being accountable or taking ownership. Your choices are yours; your friends did not actually force you to stay on the phone with them and ignore the study guide. And I understand why you’d choose the more enjoyable choice over the more responsible choice. But there will always be something else more appealing, something you’d rather do way more than the thing you have to do or should do. When you choose your choice, you don’t get to pick which consequence comes with it, it’s a package deal. I know it’s not easy to admit when you mess up and face the negative consequences–but it shows true character and maturity when you take ownership of your choices.

Own It: Your Behavior

Have you read that book, “How Full is Your Bucket?” by Tom Rath? It illustrates this metaphor that everyone has an invisible bucket, and throughout the day our interactions with others will either help fill or empty our bucket, and our actions will either add to or take away from others’ buckets as well. For example, when we help someone, that adds water to both their bucket and ours, but if we make fun of someone, that takes water away from both their bucket and ours. When our buckets are full, we feel amazing; when our buckets are empty, we feel terrible. Here’s where ownership comes in. We are accountable for our own emotions and behavior, and we need to be mindful of how we impact others. When we feel great and our bucket is full, we are more likely to help fill others’ buckets. But when we feel rotten and our bucket is nearly empty, we have a tendency to empty others’ buckets, too. Like if some kid was rude to you at lunch, after school you’re still upset about it, so you get in a fight with your sister about which show to watch. That’s not taking ownership; if your bucket is empty, you need to do things that will help refill your bucket. So say you had a bad day at school, people kept emptying your bucket all day. Instead of taking it out on your family, you can ask them to listen as you share about your day, you can take some time alone in your room to reset, or you can do something that’ll help you feel better, like snuggle your pet, dance it out, or make a thank you card for a friend. Even if other people’s behavior completely knocks your bucket over, you don’t have to stay empty and you don’t have to take water away from others’ buckets; you have the power to refill your bucket and others’ buckets, too. Asserting yourself by taking ownership of your behavior feels empowering and helps you build resilience.

I’m gonna close with a few quotes to help you remember to Own It:
“The choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.” Eleanor Roosevelt

“Ninety-nine percent of all failures come from people who have a habit of making excuses.” George Washington Carver

“Own your actions. Hold yourself accountable. And remember that integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.” J.C. Penney

Own It Worksheet Printable

To help you remember all of this, I created a “Own It” worksheet for you to print out, personalize, and post on your wall where you’ll see it, remember it, practice it, and believe it — that’s the important part.

Resources

If you have a topic suggestion, I’d love to hear from you! Send an email (tweens get the OK from your parents) to hello@EmpowerfulGirls.com .

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