What’s In + Out This Year

You’ve probably seen the INs and OUTs trend videos for fashion, hair/makeup, and habits. I think it’s a fun way to start the year, and you could even make your own INs and OUTs list (more on that later). To kick off this year’s episodes, I’m gonna share my 2025 INs and OUTs for teen and tween girls.

OUT: Holding back + playing small

I get it, we don’t want to rock the boat so we try to blend in and take up less space. And we do this for multiple reasons–we doubt and don’t trust ourselves, we’re afraid to fail, we worry about what people will think, we don’t want to get rejected. These are all valid, but they’re also restrictive and prevent growth.

IN: Leaning in + taking risks

Playing big, or brave, or bold will require you to believe in yourself and/or to do it scared. But you can do it. Speak up when you have an answer or a question, or an idea or a solution. Stand up for people, for change, and for what you believe. Challenge yourself to try new things. Show yourself what you’re capable of.

OUT: Constantly checking your phone

Checking for texts, new posts, notifications, and especially for no reason at all. We’ve conditioned ourselves to impulsively reach for our phone and keep it close by at all times. We’re too attached and need some space from distractions.

IN: Screen-free time

When hanging out with friends, instead of putting your phone on a table where you can see it, or in your pocket where you can feel it, how about tuck your phone away in your backpack and enjoy actual face time with your friends. Or leave your phone in another room while you’re having dinner with your family–if it’s out of sight, you won’t be as tempted by it. Remember to put your phone on silent, too. Test it out and see the difference it makes to be screen-free with people.

OUT: Being busy and overscheduled

We bounce from place to place, school to lessons to studying to activities to bed–and rarely get enough sleep. It’s exhausting for you and your parents, and we’re all stressed out trying to balance everything in the name of achievement.

IN: Slowing down, doing less

Give yourself opportunities to catch your breath, to recharge, to get bored, and to be creative. Don’t just wait for free time to arrive, make it happen–schedule it if you have to. Unwind with mindful breathing, yoga stretches, or a bubble bath. Go outside and touch some grass, watch a bird feeder, or star gaze. Cozy up in a quiet corner and crochet or draw or read a book because you want to, not because you have to. Help yourself pause for a moment before life inevitably speeds back up again.

OUT: Feeling Bad on Social Media

Stop following social media accounts or watching videos that make you feel bad about yourself. Doesn’t matter if they’re famous or your friend–if you feel worse whenever you see their content, unsubscribe, unfollow, or at least mute. I don’t think you’ll miss them.

IN: Making Social Media Feel Better

Following accounts that make you feel good, that interest and inspire you, that make you smile or laugh. Think professional mentors, nature/science/space accounts, funny animal roundups or clean comedians. If you’re gonna be on social media, make it work better for you.

OUT: Staying In Your Room All Day/Night

While it’s normal to want some independent time, continually shutting out your family isn’t helping anyone. You’ll just feel more isolated and alone, and your family will feel distant from you.

IN: Making Time to Connect With Your Family Every Day

Play a game with your little brother. Ask your older sister for help with your homework. Make dinner together with your parents. Go for a walk with your family–and leave phones at home! It doesn’t have to be big to be effective, even just sincerely asking how they’re doing can mean a lot. Try it and see what happens.

OUT: Gossiping, mean girl drama

These years are tough enough, you don’t need anything that makes it harder. If you have friends who are firestarters, you’re in and out of fights, you keep worrying they’re mad at you–I think you need to take a step back or take a break. On the flip side, if you’re that red flag friend (see episode 051), you may gently suggest you do some self reflection and try to repair your relationships.

IN: Hype Girling

We girls need to support each other more. There are plenty of cheap seat critics and trolls and haters; we need more cheerleaders and fans and stans. This is more than liking someone’s post. Give a genuine compliment to another girl. Share encouragement before your friend’s presentation. Be happy for your sister’s success. Offer compassion to your discouraged teammate. Spread the word about your neighbor’s fundraiser. Leave a positive review on a classmate’s channel. Imagine how you’d feel if someone did one of those for you. It costs nothing to be kind. Let’s hype girl each other.

OUT: Hanging On to Mental Clutter

Think of your mind like it’s a house, and thoughts are like furniture and decor. Some thoughts are ones we should hang on to and use often. But many thoughts aren’t helpful and don’t serve a purpose, they just take up space and stick out in our minds. The unhelpful thoughts could be an embarrassing memory, a mean comment someone said, or a negative belief we have about ourselves. The thoughts that clutter your mind, that are mental obstacles constantly in the way, let go of those.

IN: Curating Your Thoughts

A curator, like at a museum, takes care of collections and decides which art to display. Your mind isn’t a museum–remember, it’s like a house–and it doesn’t have room for all of the countless thoughts you have. So as the curator of your thoughts, you must carefully select which thoughts to keep and intentionally choose which ones to get rid of. The thoughts that add value to your life, that help you grow, that bring you joy, that remind you who you are, those are the thoughts you should hang on to, collect more of, and revisit again and again.

We’ve got the whole year ahead of us, and I hope that these ideas help you look forward to it. So there you go, that’s my 2025 INs + OUTs list. And if you want to make one for yourself …

2025 INs + OUTs list printable

To help you, I created a “2025 INs + OUTs” list for you to print out, personalize, and post on your wall where you’ll see it, remember it, practice it, and believe it — that’s the important part.

Resources

If you have a topic suggestion, I’d love to hear from you! Send an email (tweens get the OK from your parents) to hello@EmpowerfulGirls.com .

Also check out my You’ve Got This Year! Calendar in my Shop. It’s a printable calendar with monthly topics + quotes, giving you inspiration, organization, and motivation throughout 2025. 

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