Wisdom from TS

This past week, a certain podcast broke the internet (wasn’t mine–yet). Taylor Swift was a guest on New Heights, a sports podcast hosted by her boyfriend, Travis Kelce, and his brother, Jason Kelce (FYI it’s got some language). Now even if you’re not a fan of Taylor Swift or football, Taylor shared solid wisdom that I think you girls should hear–even if you have already, it’s a good reminder.

How to Think of Your Energy

She said, “We live in such a social media moment, where a lot of people’s identities … they get their feedback from that, right? … But I have so many friends or acquaintances or people where, they’ll see one comment they don’t like, and it will ruin their day, it will ruin their night. And I just want to say to them, you should think of your energy as if it’s expensive, as if it’s like a luxury item. Not everyone can afford it. Not everyone has invested in you in order to be able to have the capital for you to care about this.”

Oooh! The first time I heard her say that, I was literally the mind blown emoji. And I have sat with that thought many times over the past week reflecting on how and who and what I spend my energy on, and also how you girls could apply this advice. Your energy is your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. It’s like a battery–it gets drained by negativity and stress, and it gets recharged by positive experiences, mindfulness, self-care, etc.

Luxury, Not Clearance

Going along with her luxury item/shopping analogy, how often do we discount the value of our energy for people who have not contributed much to our relationship? Why do we lower our perception of our worth when others treat us like we’re in the bargain bin of the clearance section. Some people, brands, and industries (beauty, diet, fitness, wellness, fashion) will try to convince you that you’re worth less, and might even leave you feeling worthless.

But I’ve said it before–episode 072, episode 095–your worth is infinite and unchanging.

Someone’s refusal to recognize your worth doesn’t diminish yours. That’s why you need to protect your energy, because while others cannot take away your worth, they can take away your energy–if you allow them to.

How You Spend Your Energy

Taylor elaborated on this, she said, “What you spend your energy on, that’s the day. … If you were obsessing over one thing that you saw, like you literally saw some guy call you “mid,” and you can’t stop thinking about it–dude, that’s the day then.”

Think of a time when someone’s snarky comment or flat out mean message completely wrecked the rest of your day. Or think of how seeing a brand’s ad or a celebrity’s post sent you into a spiral of self conscious thoughts. If you spend your energy ruminating over (replaying in your mind) something you heard or read or saw, that can take over and sour your entire day–if you let it.

Everyone or Just One

In their conversation, Jason Kelce shared about a recent experience when something was happening on social media, and Jason was bothered by it, saying “Why are people upset at this person??” And his friend replied, “Are they really though or did just one person say something?” 

He brings up a really good point, I think we tend to assume one person’s opinion represents a majority. Like if one of your classmates doesn’t like your outfit, automatically you think the entire school thinks it’s ugly. But it’s just one person’s opinion, and you don’t have to get hung up on it. Even if multiple people don’t like your outfit, did you pick it out for their approval, or did you choose what to wear to express your personal style? What you think about you matters way more than what others think about you. Their opinions about your fit, or your abilities, or your personality, or your status can only carry more weight if you permit them to.

Do Not Play

And I keep using that caveat because of something Sharon McMahon talked about in episode 036: “You cannot lose what you do not play. I can’t lose a hockey game today because I’m not playing a hockey game today. Right? … So you’re not a loser if you refuse to play.” In that same vein, if you do not sell off your energy to people and brands and industries who undervalue it, if you don’t allow them to use up your energy, you will be able to conserve your energy and have more of it for you and people you actually care about–and who care about you.

On top of that, you will increase the value of your energy. Think of something inexpensive you can find almost anywhere–a pencil, a hair tie, a piece of gum. Those items are usually pretty cheap, lots of people can get them, they don’t hold a lot of value, and they’re often discarded by people (on the floors in the hallway at school). If you treat your energy like those items, and keep giving your energy away to those who deplete your energy and don’t deserve it, then you are undervaluing your energy.

Increase the Value of Your Energy

Again, in the wise words of Taylor Swift, “You should think of your energy as if it’s expensive, as if it’s like a luxury item. Not everyone can afford it.” You don’t need to care about the opinions of people who don’t care about you. You don’t have enough energy for that; you will run out. That’s why you need to protect your energy–your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. You need to be selective about who you give access to your energy. You need to draw and hold boundaries with those who don’t make the cut. And you need to recharge your energy with supportive people, enriching experiences, and intentional care for yourself. Increase the value of your energy and see how much more you end up with.

Your Energy Printable

To help you remember all of this, I made a poster with Taylor’s quote on it for you to print out, personalize, and post on your wall where you’ll see it, remember it, practice it, and believe it — that’s the important part.

Resources

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