Dealing with Health

So a few of you gals emailed me and shared that you were dealing with a health setback–like an injury or illness or allergy or a condition. Especially at your young age, those can be a lot to process. I previously talked about coping with a family member’s illness in episode 066, so instead I want to focus on when YOU are the one with a health setback. As a reminder, I am not a healthcare professional; I am not offering medical advice, a diagnosis, or treatment. I still think it’s important to have conversations about this, so you’ll feel more comfortable talking about it and advocating for yourself.

My Health Story

Let’s start with a story. Two summers ago, I got sick and just thought it was food poisoning. But when I didn’t feel better weeks later, I started worrying something was wrong with me. As I struggled with my gut health over the next year, I had to get several tests that were not fun. It took a while to figure out what’s going on, but at this point they’re calling it functional dyspepsia with a hiatal hernia. What that means is, I have to eat small meals several times a day, and I have to avoid foods that are acidic, spicy, fried, sour, caffeinated, etc. Honestly it’s been a hard adjustment for me.

While you gals may have experienced a different health setback, maybe you can relate–not feeling well or getting hurt, worried about what’s wrong, doctors and tests, long drawn out process, rough transition, etc. I’m not equating a broken leg with a chronic illness or a food allergy, but there are some similarities in dealing with them. Let’s move through this chronologically.

Something Changes

It could be subtle, it could be significant. You get injured playing sports or on a trampoline, you notice a concerning symptom, you have a bad reaction, or something else. That can be really stressful and scary. You might be in a lot of pain, or feel anxious because you aren’t sure what happened, or feel overwhelmed based on other people’s reactions. Whatever your response is, I encourage you to include deep breathing–I talk about this in a lot of episodes, especially 005, but the thing is, YOU are the ONLY person who can breathe for you. And deep breathing can have a powerful calming effect on your mind and your entire body, it will help you think clearly and help your brain communicate with the rest of you. So in that moment when something changes, catch yourself doing nervous shallow breaths and start deep breathing.

Testing

You may have to get tests done to figure out what’s going on with your health setback. That can be unnerving, as doctor’s offices and hospitals aren’t always fun, some tests aren’t exactly pleasant, and you might need multiple tests. Also you may have to wait days or weeks to have the test performed, when your healthcare provider’s schedule has availability. Waiting stinks, especially if your health setback impacts your daily life. Before you have the test done, if you’re feeling worried, ask your healthcare provider to explain the test to you, like how it will go, what it’s looking for, how long the results will take, if your parent can stay with you or where they’ll be during the test. Knowing what to expect can help you feel some reassurance. Before and during the test, remember to breathe through it (unless you’re supposed to hold your breath for the test). Trust that your healthcare providers will do the best they can to take care of you. Remember to breathe after the test is finished, too.

Diagnosis

Again, it could take time to get results back and have a follow up appointment. Your parents will likely have questions for your healthcare provider. It’s important you understand what’s going on too, so you can also ask questions like, how did this happen, will you show me or draw a picture of what’s going on, what risks or concerns are there, can it heal or improve + how long will that take, can I prevent this from reoccuring, could this affect me when I’m older, is it contagious or genetic, what’s my treatment plan, what are common side effects of this diagnosis or treatment, should I avoid certain activities, foods, or things; and how will it impact my daily life? Your health setback’s diagnosis could be temporary, like a broken bone that will heal, but it still could interfere with daily tasks, activities, and getting around. Or it could be an illness that requires days or even weeks of rest for you to heal. Or it could be a condition you’ll have to manage throughout your life. You might not receive the answers you wanted, but you will have a better idea of what you’re dealing with. 

Adjustments

Learning to live with your health setback can be hard. There may be a lot of changes to your life, you may have to learn how to do things differently, you may have to slow down or stop doing things you enjoy, you may get better and then have flare ups, or your life could be different from here on out. Adjustments can be hard mentally, too. You may feel overwhelmed, anxious, depressed, angry, hopeless. Even if it’s a temporary setback, it still could have a big impact on you short-term, and it’s hard to see past that. I will not sugarcoat your experience, push you into positivity, or try to talk you out of your feelings, because they’re valid. You don’t have to like your setback–I don’t like mine. It stinks. It’s a pain to deal with. Zero stars. You don’t have to like what’s going on with you either, however, you may want to start working toward accepting it. Acknowledging that this setback happened, that there are some things that are out of your control, and that there ARE other things in your life that you DO still have control over can help you grow to accept the setback, the testing, the diagnosis, and the adjustments.

Support

It’s important that, in addition to your healthcare team, you also have supportive individuals in your corner, too. Besides your parents, this could be your siblings, your extended family, your friends and their parents, your teachers/coaches, and other trusted adults in your life. You don’t have to tell everyone every single detail about your health setback, but having a small network of people who know what’s going on, who can be there for you, who can reach out to for support, can help you not feel so alone going through this. Your healthcare provider may also recommend resources or community or online groups that can offer additional support. And I’ll also add, working with a therapist can really make a difference, too. It’s okay to ask for help, you don’t have to figure it out on your own, or go through it alone. They say it takes a village, and it’s true. So reach out for and accept support.

Define Yourself

You may feel that your health setback has taken over your entire life, or changed how other people see you, or that it’s who you are now. But I encourage you to try to separate yourself from your health setback. You are not your diagnosis; you are an individual who has a diagnosis, who also has a personality, and talents, and character strengths, and a sense of humor, and great ideas, and values, and MOST importantly inherent worth that does not change.

I’ve seen some incredible examples of individuals who had health setbacks but chose to not let it define them, like my cousin, who was paralyzed from the waist down but still did the Boston Marathon with a hand cycle. Or my dad, who had a chronic condition but still traveled the world. Or Selena Gomez, who has lupus and is still making music and TV shows. Or Bindi Irwin, who has endometriosis but is still a conservationist, a zookeeper, a mother, and won Dancing with the Stars. Or pop star P!nk, who has asthma but is still rocking at concerts. Or actress Kristin Bell (she played Anna in Frozen), who has depression and anxiety but is still a movie star and openly talks about mental health. Or USA Women’s Rugby player Cass Bargell, who has ulcerative colitis, but is still playing with an ostomy bag in this year’s Women’s Rugby World Cup! You are not your diagnosis, and your diagnosis doesn’t have to define who you are–you get to do that.

Whatever your health setback is, it doesn’t have to set back your entire life. While your setback may be all you can see right now, please know that you have so much more ahead of you, so much potential, opportunity, and growth. You don’t have to like your health setback, ever, but you can learn to accept it–and keep living, learning, and doing; keep creating joy, finding purpose, and feeling fulfilled.

Resources

If you have a topic suggestion, I’d love to hear from you! Send an email (tweens get the OK from your parents) to hello@EmpowerfulGirls.com .

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