ADHD and me
I’ve had multiple requests for an episode on ADHD. This topic is personal to me because I was diagnosed with ADHD 3.5 years ago, a few months after I started this podcast. I will preface this by reminding you–I am not a healthcare professional, I am not offering medical advice or a diagnosis. I still want to share my experience because I feel it’s important to talk about ADHD to spread awareness. Whether you have it too or know someone who does, understanding it better will help your relationships with others.
What ADHD is
ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, but the way my psychologist explained it, it’s not a deficit or disorder, it’s an application activation issue. ADHD is one of the many types of neurodiversity, meaning the brain develops or works differently than typical brains. There are a few kinds of ADHD: inattentive (difficulty paying attention), hyperactive-impulsive (excessive energy, acting without thinking), and a combination of the two. My ADHD is a combo. There are many ADHD symptoms and tendencies, and if you happen to relate to some of them, again, I’m not saying you also have ADHD. Some of these symptoms are pretty normal to experience occasionally, so keep that in mind. Even though I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, I’ve had it my whole life. There were things I struggled with as a tween and teen, and now that I have a diagnosis, they make a lot more sense. I want to share my perspective on what I’ve experienced as someone with ADHD and also what’s helped me adapt.
ADHD + School
First, let’s talk about school. I was actually a pretty good student, which is one reason my ADHD flew under the radar. Certain subjects however were more difficult for me, like history, physics, and calculus because, to me, they were boring so I had trouble concentrating. People with ADHD often need more stimulation than others so they can pay attention, not get distracted or mind-wander. At the beginning of the year in my physics class, my friends and I were bored and doodling while taking notes, and as a joke we created what we called the Physics Rangers, with characters named Velocity and Friction. And throughout the year we infused the Physics Rangers during lectures and assignments. While it was a running joke, I realize now, my friends and the Physics Rangers actually helped me with my ADHD. I was more engaged in class because learning was more fun and interesting. Also, when I took tests, I learned the hard way that I needed to force myself to go slowly and read every question thoroughly, because when I impulsively skimmed and rushed through a test, I made careless mistakes and got answers wrong. Another thing I learned was how to take notes that worked better for my brain. Instead of writing pages of straight text, I used an organized outline format, bolded headings, color coded, drew pictures, and tried to make it more visually interesting for me. Removing distractions and giving myself brain breaks also helped me focus when I studied, and even now it helps me get more work done.
ADHD + ToDos
My ADHD used to manifest more physically (bouncing off the walls, talking nonstop), and as an adult it’s more mental (thoughts bouncing around my head). I get distracted easily, like that book “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.” I’ll start one task, like putting away cleaning rags in my pantry, then I see that we’re almost out of bread, so I open my groceries app to add it to my shopping list, but I see an ad for a sale on home decor, and I start scrolling through and see a fluffy blanket, which reminds me I need to wash bedding, so then I go to the laundry room and find yesterday’s load is still in the washer because I got distracted … If you feel dizzy after hearing that, imagine what it’s like to experience that all the time. Also the noisy thoughts about all the things I need to do can get so overwhelming that nothing ends up getting done.
When I was younger I was not a list-maker or calendar/planner user, and I wish I would’ve been because that would’ve helped me immensely. I wouldn’t have forgotten about assignments, procrastinated projects, or missed events because they would’ve been written down instead of crammed into my memory that was already out of storage space. Since my diagnosis I’ve relied on those tools to help me be more productive, to plan ahead, and to prioritize. I’ve also improved my time management skills by setting alarms and reminders, blocking time in my schedule, and overestimating how long something will take so I have a built-in time buffer. Because I sometimes misplace or lose things, I’ve created systems to help me stay organized. Like the saying, “a place for everything, and everything in its place,” instead of mindlessly setting something aside thinking I’ll remember to grab it later, I take a few extra seconds to put it where it goes, then it’s done. Not only does that help reduce the clutter around my house, but also future me thanks past me for making my life easier.
ADHD + Relationships
Regarding relationships, I’ve become more aware of how my mind works differently than others, and learned some helpful social skills. While talking with friends, sometimes I have a thought pop in my head, and impulsively I’ll start speaking the thought and interrupt someone. When that happens, I’ll catch myself, apologize, and encourage them to finish what they were saying as I wait my turn to speak. I also know I tend to ramble, so before I start talking I’ll first think through what I want to say like bullet points or beginning/middle/end. With this podcast, if I didn’t organize and write down ideas ahead of time, every episode would be like an hour long haha. One thing that helps me let out all my thoughts in a productive way is journaling, brain dumping, freewriting. This can also help me process in real time.
Another thing with relationships, some people with ADHD, including me, experience Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, which means you feel especially hurt when you fail or are rejected by others. Because of this, for most of my life I was a people-pleaser and perfectionist, and I also was self-conscious, easily embarrassed, had low self esteem and struggled regulating my emotions.
What’s helped me with ADHD
The thing that’s been most helpful for me with that and ADHD in general is working with a therapist. I learned coping mechanisms through cognitive behavioral therapy as well as tools and strategies to help with my ADHD. I’ve been seeing a counselor for a while, right now I check in once a month, and when I needed to we met more frequently. I’ve also tried prescribed ADHD medication, while it didn’t seem to work for me, I know it’s worked for some. But other things that HAVE helped me are meditation and mindfulness, getting enough sleep, daily physical activity, intuitive eating, listening to music and singing, and learning a language.
My ADHD Strengths
Some people think that having ADHD means there’s something wrong with them, but it just means that my brain works differently. In fact, I’ve been able to utilize those differences and make them strengths. I can hyperfocus when I’m passionate about a project and go all out. I have a lot of energy, which helps me engage with an audience. I say that I take the scenic route with my thought process, but that helps me consider different solutions. I’m creatively talented, compassionate toward others, playful and spontaneous. While I still have to deal with the downsides of ADHD, I also know there are many upsides to it. I choose to embrace and accept my whole self, and I want to help others do the same. So thank you for listening to my experience with ADHD.
Resources
I also recommend revisiting these episodes:
104 Procrastination
87 Organization + Cleaning
31 Being Too Busy (time management)
If you have a topic suggestion, I’d love to hear from you! Send an email (tweens get the OK from your parents) to hello@EmpowerfulGirls.com .
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