All You Need Is Love

Neverending January is finally over and February is here! For lots of folks, Valentine’s Day is what the month is all about. We focus on sharing love and giving gifts to people, which is wonderful. On the podcast we’ve discussed self love here and there within episodes, and even had an entire show on it–number 010 Practice Self Love With Affirmations. But that was a while ago, so we’re gonna revisit the topic of Self Love and explore it even deeper.

Why It’s Hard To Love Yourself

Loving ourselves is sometimes misinterpreted as being in love with ourselves, like being self-absorbed or narcissistic. So we overcorrect by being extra humble, making fun of ourselves, and dismissing compliments, like if your friend says, “Your hair looks so pretty,” and you reply, “Naw I’m a mess.” But loving yourself is not selfish; it’s healthy and it’s important.

For many of us, loving ourselves is not as easy as showing love to others. Why is that? I think the biggest reason is we tend to see the best in others and the worst in ourselves. Especially when it’s someone we care about, we focus way more on their positive qualities and way less on their faults.

But with ourselves, we tend to do the reverse–scrutinizing every flaw we have, replaying in our mind something embarrassing we said or did, brutally judging ourselves, thinking that negative reinforcement will motivate us to change into the person we want to become. And maybe then, we’ll start loving ourselves. Let’s be honest, is that working for us? Is comparing and criticizing ourselves transforming us into the best version we could be? No, it’s not.

You Deserve The Same Love

Girls, listen to me. You deserve the same love from yourself that you show to others. And you always have, you deserve that love right now–not later on, not after you change your personality or lose weight or prove yourself or reach some other finish line. You deserve the same love from yourself that you show to others. And yes, it is so much easier said than done, but the first step is to believe it’s true–you deserve that love always.

If you’re not used to showing yourself love, old habits are hard to break, but not impossible. Your natural tendency may be to think negatively and critically about yourself, but thanks to your brain’s elasticity, you can create new neuropathways, you can form new habits for how you think about yourself. It’s not gonna come to you overnight, just like any skill you learn–crochet, basketball, an instrument. But if you practice something over and over, you get better at it. The same goes for self love–practice makes progress. 

Self Love Practices

So how do we practice self love? Different things work for people, so your practice will be unique to you. As you start practicing, you’ll find what fits you best.

Honor Your Feelings. If you don’t have much love for yourself, acknowledge your emotions and allow space for them to process. You can’t force yourself to feel love, and suppressing your emotions is only gonna build up pressure. So recognize how you’re feeling, journaling is a good method to let it all out. And once you can identify your emotions, that’ll help you know what you need next to work through them.

Show Yourself Compassion. Just like THE expert Dr. Kristin Neff says, treat yourself the same way you’d treat a good friend. For example, if your friend made a mistake and already felt bad about it, you wouldn’t try to make her feel worse, right? No, you’d comfort and support her, help her feel loved. With that same compassion you show to others, also give yourself grace, forgiveness, and kindness, too.

Practice Affirmations. Like in episode 010, saying supportive and encouraging words to yourself can have a remarkable impact on you. You could start by making a list of what you love about yourself, and then turn those into affirmations, saying them out loud and in the mirror. You might feel a little silly at first, but with practice it’ll start feeling more natural and authentic. Think about it like this–you freely compliment your friends, so do the same for yourself. As Camilla Kimball said, “Never suppress a generous thought.” That applies to you, too.

Music That Loves You. Listen to music that makes you feel good about yourself. Make a playlist you can come back to whenever you need a boost. Music is a powerful way to connect us to messages and help us feel seen. So sing along, dance even, without caring about what others may think.

Do Something Nice For You. Like they say, treat yourself! You do plenty of nice things for other people, and you deserve it too! Bake your favorite cookies, set up a cozy reading corner and get lost in a good book, take a bubble bath, create a new bracelet just for you. It doesn’t have to be a big deal or cost money, just do something nice to show yourself love.

Express Gratitude For Yourself. Have you ever thought to thank yourself for your talents, your qualities, your wisdom, your body’s abilities, your intuition? These are all things you can appreciate about yourself. It might feel odd at first, but take a moment every day to thank yourself for working hard, for getting through something challenging, for carrying you through the day. Express your love through gratitude.

Choose To Love Yourself Every Day

Loving yourself isn’t just something to do around Valentine’s Day or during February, it’s a practice you continue doing throughout your entire life. There are too many voices shouting at you, too many messages bombarding you, trying to convince you to judge yourself, to pick yourself apart, and to hate who you are. But you cannot shame yourself into accepting yourself. You cannot hate yourself into loving yourself. Remember, you deserve the same love from yourself that you show to others. Every single day you have to choose to accept yourself, embrace yourself, and love yourself.

I’ll close with a few quotes from very wise women:

Brene Brown: “I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.”

Maya Angelou: “I must undertake to love myself and to respect myself as though my very life depends upon self-love and self-respect.”

Lucille Ball: “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”

What I Love About Myself printable

To help you, I created a “What I Love About Myself” worksheet for you to print out, personalize, and post on your wall where you’ll see it, remember it, practice it, and believe it — that’s the important part.

Resources

If you have a topic suggestion, I’d love to hear from you! Send an email (tweens get the OK from your parents) to hello@EmpowerfulGirls.com .

Also check out my You’ve Got This Year! Calendar in my Shop. It’s a printable calendar with monthly topics + quotes, giving you inspiration, organization, and motivation throughout 2025. 

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